okay this is gross... but here goes
one bad day when count olaf got home along with his butt-ugly friends, he demanded violet and klaus to cook dinner for them. so while they were in the kitchen looking for something to eat they ended up finding scattered pieces of lasagna. so they bioled it and after a few minutes the noodles were cooled and ready. but there was one problem.... there was no sauce.
klaus: olaf will never eat this without the sauce!
violet: i know. but there must be something else we could use
klaus: there's nothing else in here. every sauce i know is expired and rotten like hell
violet: there's always something!
so violet looked around to see if she can substitute the sauce with something else. but klaus was right. there was clearly no sign of anything to be used as a sauce. but suddenly violet's stare stops at klaus then she came up with an idea
violet: bring the noodles and follow me to the bathroom
so klaus followed violet to the bathroom
violet: now start saucing it up!
klaus: how?! we don't have any sauce
violet: well i don't, but you have
klaus: don't you have milk inside you or something
violet: not yet! now go for it before he notice us hiding in here
so klaus starts lowering his zipper and takes out a tube of cream
then they finally served it
count olaf: what is that?!
violet: it's lasagna
count olaf: where's the beef?
klaus: what beef?
count olaf: beef as in cow
klaus: try that first and we'll cook the beef while you're eating
count olaf: fine! you lousy kids
while olaf and his gang were eating they started a conversation about the food
hook-handed man: this smells funny
olaf: it's italian!
powdered face lady 1: what's funnier is i think i've tasted this for a thousand times
olaf: shut up and eat
guy with a big nose: don't you like it?
olaf: can't you see i'm concentrating on eating it!
olaf: it's the best i ever tasted although it's a bit salty