Post by azballerina on Aug 28, 2005 3:00:37 GMT -5
Post any stupid joke you have, just for the heck of it.
I'll start.
2 cannibals were eating a clown. One of them says to the other, "Do YOU taste something funny?"
~~~
2 muffins were in an oven. One of them said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here," and the other one says, "AHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
~~~
I hear Enya is coming out with a rap album.
Really? What's it called?
Enya Face.
~~~
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex plain later. Let me in!
~~~
I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked moron. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes ... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
~~~
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
~~~
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."
~~~
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually.
~~~
two snakes, edward and howard, were slithering along when howard asked: "edward, are we poisonous?"
edward replied, "i don't know, howard - why?"
"because, edward - i just bit my lip!!"
~~~
And this one I absoulute ADORE because it's so TRUE!!!
How many Grobanites does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to change the light bulb
1 to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
.. another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
6 that flame them for not using the Search feature
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
16 posts of two forum members that are exclusively talking to each other only about lightbulbs and what they did that weekend
24 posts of telling them to take it to PM's
1 moderator that comes in and says something about doing it wrong and that everyone who disagrees gets a warning
1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
~~~
Okay, TAG! Your turn!
I'll start.
2 cannibals were eating a clown. One of them says to the other, "Do YOU taste something funny?"
~~~
2 muffins were in an oven. One of them said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here," and the other one says, "AHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
~~~
I hear Enya is coming out with a rap album.
Really? What's it called?
Enya Face.
~~~
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex plain later. Let me in!
~~~
I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked moron. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes ... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
~~~
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
~~~
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."
~~~
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually.
~~~
two snakes, edward and howard, were slithering along when howard asked: "edward, are we poisonous?"
edward replied, "i don't know, howard - why?"
"because, edward - i just bit my lip!!"
~~~
And this one I absoulute ADORE because it's so TRUE!!!
How many Grobanites does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to change the light bulb
1 to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
.. another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
6 that flame them for not using the Search feature
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
16 posts of two forum members that are exclusively talking to each other only about lightbulbs and what they did that weekend
24 posts of telling them to take it to PM's
1 moderator that comes in and says something about doing it wrong and that everyone who disagrees gets a warning
1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
~~~
Okay, TAG! Your turn!